Undertaking Catharsis - Breathe

So I recently went to a wake, nobody likes wakes, funerals or anything associated with the death of someone you know and love. Whether it be a friend, acquaintance or family member, nobody is ever fully prepared for bereavement. I have the tendency to be antisocial at these gatherings. Perhaps it is a lack of experience, maybe it is just the grim reality of situation. I just read here that you don't have to be lying down for your wake presentation. But you most certainly wouldn't want to be treated like this.

Maybe if I was able to suspend my disbelief with regards to the event itself, I could loosen up. Engage in conversations with people from the past that you end up only seeing at weddings and funerals. Perhaps if these conversations didn't seem as inorganic as ones you have with people you went to school with that you didn't get along with that you haven't seen in ages, I'd feel a little more comfortable. Sure people evolve, but finding that common ground can be somewhat awkward. Maybe I should develop a routine better than the one I have; getting in/out in record time. Maybe I should crack a smile, a joke, a drink, a smoke for old times' sake, tell a story about glory and avoid one to gory. Maybe it would ease the pain, I can't feign emotion well. When I'm melancholy, it's crystal clear.

If you ever see me at a wake and funeral and I don't converse with you or see you, don't be offended. When I get older and attend more of these rites of passage, I'll hopefully get better at them. But for now, I'll work on my coping mechanisms.